The Mullet: Worse Than Witchcraft

Hi America! Due to the inane rumblings concerning what a teenager did in her youth, a teenager who in turn upset the establishment apple cart in Delaware, I figured it was time to put some things into perspective.

First, let me reintroduce you to the mullet.

mul·let: n. 1. pl. mullet or mul·lets

  1. A hairstyle that is formed by cutting the hair short on the the top and sides and allowing it to grow longer in back.
  2. See also Camaro crash helmet, Kentucky Waterfall, the Missouri Compromise.

Often defined as “business in the front, party in the back,” the mullet is the staple coiffure of mostly adult men who will never, ever get a date for who they themselves cannot pay. While the hairstyle was indigenous to the redneckius vir and was thought to have grown unpopular after the 80s, it has seen a recent revival in pop culture thanks to individuals like Bill Maher:

Maher’s hairstyle, despite the clever combing, is clearly a case of Kentucky Waterfall.

Look, we’re all guilty of inane, youthful behavior, some of us continue certain aspects of it (see the above mullet) well into our adulthood. We’ve all had stupid hairstyles, said stupid things, I even campaigned for the Non-Accusatory Knuckle-Pointer Clinton before I could vote and I and millions of other Americans used to tight-roll our jeans. One time my girlfriends and I even got – are you ready for this? – an ouija board out of a game closet during a slumber party at a friend’s house. OMGBBQGASP!!1! If any one of us were required to run for office while teenagers not a single one of us would have passed inspection. We had not the benefit of maturity.

So why is it now that Christine O’Donnell’s teenage admissions from 14 years ago are more relevant today than her positions on policy today? Answer: the left is trying to spin any candidate with tea party backing as “extreme” or as a “kook” and this is the only way they can since the majority of Americans identify with the grassroots more so than with the Democrat congress:

57% of Likely Voters Describe Democratic Congressional Agenda As Extreme

Independent Voters Favor GOP in 2010 Election Tracking

Most Say Tea Party Has Better Understanding of Issues than Congress

So O’Donnell “dabbled in witchcraft.” I thought the left was supposed to be tolerant? Do they not believe in grace for all, as the right believes? Wait – these are the same people who were calling conservatives “homos” outside of Right Nation this past weekend, so that point may be moot.

I wish the left would have made as much of a fuss about the Pigford scandal as they do over what a candidate said as a teenager. Notice how Bill Clinton can advise them on policy, yet nothing is said of his lurid past.

Let this stand as an example of tolerance and grace, but pay attention from what side it originates.

Can we get back to policy now?

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