RNC coverage

Dude, the RNC was all of boring until I saw that crap-kicker Fred Thompson would be speaking tonight.

Oh – and I turned it on C-Span at the EXACT moment that AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck” emanated from the speakers and filled the convention chamber.

One word, two syllables: metai.

I’ll be back with Freddie’s on. Otherwise I don’t plan to live-blog too much because most of the big players are absent due to Gustav and well, yawn.

8:45 – OK, First Lady Laura Bush is up to introduce President Bush.

Some dude by the mic is hollering “YEARRRRAAAH!” like a giant tool. Hysterical.

Even when she’s telling it like it is and sticking it to the other guy she’s still incredibly gracious and classy. She also says mosquito like “muskeeta.” Like my grandma did.

Bush live via satellite. He’s out of the gate talking about Gustav. Hurricane damage was less than people feared because the governors there, like Jindal in Lousiana? DID THEIR JOBS unlike three years ago when Nagin was getting his drunk on at a Patriots’ game a few days before the hurricane. You know, while the feds were all “Um, why isn’t he calling the National Guard?”

9:10 – My husband is seriously crying over the Reagan tribute. I am not even joking.

FRED!

He’s defending Palin now. Whoop their ass, Fred! He minces no words, it’s why I like him.

“She’s the only person of either party who knows hot to properly field dress a moose.”

“…they don’t care how mad the alligators get, they still drain that swamp!” Sometimes it takes me a second to figure out hiscolloquialisms, but dang if they aren’t awesome.

It’s funny to me how people worry about McCain’s age when his mother, Roberta, is strong as an ox at NINETY-SIX years-old.

…camera pans to Jon Voight.

9:20 – Fred Thompson is detailing how John McCain DIDN’T TAP OUT.

John McCain makes me feel like a pansy.

“A man who never quits is never defeated.” Fred also takes a shot at Obama’s “teleprompter speeches.” ME-OW.

And now he just betch-slapped Obama’s total lack of experience and stated that he’s the most under-accomplished candidate in the nation’s history. Fred is ON FIRE. This is the Fred that should’ve been campaigning during the primary. He held back on us.

9:40 – Leiberman is out. I can never make up my mind about him. I’m lukewarm.

Watching some post-coverage on, sigh, CNN (it’s always good to know what the tinfoil hats are thinking) and Campbell Brown got all arsehole with Tucker Carlson over Palin’s experience. McCain’s people were angry at CNN’s biased treatment; CNN is braying how “fair” they are. /Eyeroll.

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